


Sex at the Laundry Mat

by Quixotic



Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternia, Automated Fabric Ablution Facility, M/M, Sans-Sgrub
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-19
Updated: 2011-10-19
Packaged: 2017-10-24 18:45:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/266670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quixotic/pseuds/Quixotic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What it says on the tin. The boys run out of fresh clothes, and accidental sexiness ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sex at the Laundry Mat

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the kinkmeme! That's pretty much all there is to it.

It was one of those days in Alternia's light season, which is to say, it was hot like a motherfuck and sunny as hell. Sollux's usual strategy for dealing with this was shacking up in his hive for weeks on end. After all, he had decent AC, unlimited internet access, and a location in a big enough hivestem that the ration drones came by with semi-regularity. Besides that, he had a nubby horned quasi-matesprit crashing at his place.

All in all, the plan had been going pretty well. That was, until he realized that he was down to exactly one change of clothes that wasn't either A) completely rank, and B) covered in sopor slime. Karkat's wardrobe was in a similar state of disrepair, especially since he'd only managed to bring so much with him when he came to stay with him in the city.

And the automated fabric ablution facility was across the street. Sigh.

That predicament was how Sollux found himself standing next to a fabric ablutionary wearing a thick, hooded sweat shirt and feeling intensely miserable about his life decisions. Karkat, who was the local expert at wearing long sleeved clothing in the most inappropriate of weather, was holding up far better.

"How is it that you managed to ravage an entire forest of identical t-shirts before realizing that you have completely bankrupt yourself of resources, Sollux?" he was saying as he crushed a purging leech's cleansing secretions into one of the ablutionary's flaps. When he was finished, he tossed the bio container to the side. "It's like I'm watching one of those environmental films that tries to be all heart wrenching by showing an entire sector of a planet collapse in on itself because it's been so thoroughly mined of it's unobtainium. You will literally have Green Strife operatives appearing at your door any night now with a pair of murder shears and a ten thousand name petition for your culling for 'crimes against nature.'"

Sollux looked up at him blearily. "What? Sorry, I think I'm having a heatstroke from the increased temperature of all the hot air you just ejected into the room. If I don't wake up in two hours you should probably call the corpsemobile." He leaned against one of the moisture filters, wiping his forehead clean of sweat and sounding just a bit too sincere about that sentiment. Karkat just furrowed his brow at him.

"Oh my god, stop being such a drama weasel. It is a constant source of amazement to me that you manage to survive any kind of crisis without someone here to kick your whiney ass into gear."

"Yeah," Sollux drawled. "It's a good thing I have such caring and magnanimous friends or I would be dead of dirty shirt disease ages ago."

Karkat stared at him for a second, frowning, before turning around to set up the next ablutionary. They had a lot of clothes to get through. "Why don't you make yourself useful and go claim one of the moisture filters."

"Claim it?" Sollux repeated, raising an eyebrow. "Against who? KK, there's no one else here. It's the middle of the fucking day."

It was true. Most sensible trolls were asleep at this point, and even those that were awake would be highly reluctant to leave their hives. They were functionally alone out in public, and sure as hell wouldn't be seeing any violent competition for their possession of a moisture filter.

Karkat, as usual, was all too happy to completely ignore rationality.

"It's called efficiency," he barked. "Maybe you should familiarize yourself with it one of these days!"

Sollux just stared at him in disbelief for a second, before turning around to the filter he was leaning against and throwing open the lid with an extravagant gesture. "Done, asshole! It is now prepared to accept your laundry. Got any other orders for me, chief?"

"Did you empty the lint trap?" Karkat said without even turning around.

Sollux boggled at him angrily for a few seconds, before snapping. He turned around and started searching for the lint trap. "You are such an annoying shit some days," he grumbled. He found the trap and went to empty it into the garbage can, making sure to sigh repeatedly and loudly as he did so, both because he was feeling sincerely overwhelmed by the heat and because he was trying to piss off Karkat.

He actually did stumble a bit on his way back to the moisture filter though, which was kind of troubling. He looked up and noticed that Karkat was watching him with a strange look on his face, like he was trying to suppress his concern with anger and was mostly ending up looking a little bit constipated.

"What?" Sollux demanded.

Karkat frowned. "Why don't you just take it off or something?"

"Take off _what?_ "

"The sweater, moron!" Karkat said, turning around. "As you so keenly pointed out, it's the middle of the day, so it's not like you have to worry about being ogled at. And honestly, I'd rather be exposed to your gangly ass troll Picasso body than watch you stumble around mid-swoon." Karkat had been just a little bitter about height issues since Sollux had outgrown him by several inches.

Sollux just kind of groaned. "You know what? Fine." And he peeled it off before he had the chance to second guess himself, exposing the sweaty and slightly flush skin beneath. He threw it down. "Bam," he said.

"Well done," Karkat drawled. "You have graduated to the ranks of thorax libertine. Congratulations." Karkat wasn't looking overly comfortable with the temperatures himself, but he was stubbornly soldiering through it as he always did. Sollux got the glimmer of jealousy in his eye though.

"You can take yours off too, you know," he said.

Karkat gave him a _look._ "Unnecessary. For you see, I have more than a wafer thin constitution to work with."

Sollux rolled his eyes, starting to walk over to him. "Come on, KK, now is not the time to be a stubborn fuck cake. I'm not carrying you home if you pass out like a waif."

"Well that's fine with me, because I'm not going to," Karkat shot back.

"Oh my god, come on," Sollux said. "We're at the ablution facility anyway! This way you can get all your stuff washed at once." He smirked. "It's called efficiency. Maybe you should read up on it."

Karkat scowled as Sollux got close. "No."

"KK," Sollux said, slipping his hand up to the skin just under the hem of Karkat's shirt.

"No."

"Please?" Sollux said, giving him the most ingratiating smile he could muster. Karkat narrowed his eyes.

Then sighed dramatically in defeat.

"Fine," he grumbled, and started pulling his shirt off, mumbling all the while. "You are such a needy fuckwit sometimes, can't even go shirtless without having someone to hold your hand through it..." He tossed it into the dirty laundry pile. "There."

"Doesn't that feel better?" Sollux asked, sliding his hand around Karkat's hip and to his back. Karkat shrugged, reluctantly, his cheeks flushing to just a slightly darker grey.

"A little. I guess." He slipped a hand onto Sollux's arm, feeling their abdomen brush together. Sollux smiled again.

"Cool," he said, and leaned down to kiss him. Their lips met, and Karkat's hand clenched around his arms, as he hand wandered up his back.

Maybe this didn't have to be such a pain in the ass after all.

 

It was one of those makeouts where one thing inexplicably lead to another. Sollux's arms ended up around Karkat's waist, while Karkat's fingers settled in the hair at the base of his neck. He pulled the taller troll closer, leaving kisses that lingered with just a bit of fang. Skin, flushed with warmth, slipped together, Sollux's claws gently tracing lines down Karkat's back.

Of course, when those claws actually slipped beneath the band of Karkat's pants, he jumped with such force that he rammed into the ablutionary behind him.

"Whoa, fuck," he blurted, face flushing more darkly. "Whoa."

Sollux and Karkat had grown up with the understanding that almost everything about themselves was up for grabs when it came to casual mockery: physical appearance, life decisions, glaring personality flaws. But sexual intimacy was not one of those of issues - it couldn't be by necessity. Sollux didn't laugh, he just frowned, slightly bemused.

"What?" he asked, pulling out his hand. "I'm sorry...?" He wasn't sure if he needed to apologize, but he felt like he should. Karkat was panting with remnants of excitement, his ears folded back, uncertain.

"Sollux, what the fuck, we're in public." There was an edge of the usual anger, but he didn't sound offended so much as nervous. Sollux rested his hand back on Karkat's waist.

"We keep having to revisit this, but _there's no one here,_ " Sollux said, keeping close. Karkat didn't seem to mind that part, at least. "It's okay."

"I guess," he muttered, glancing away. Sollux frowned, then rested his forehead against Karkat's.

"Look, it's cool. We don't have to. Don't worry about it." He was disappointed, obviously - at the very least because he now had a hot, needy pressure in his bulge that he didn't know what to do with - but he knew better than to push things. He started to pull away.

Karkat hesitated, his orange eyes flashing to the doorway apprehensively, then down at his own hand as it started to pull away from Sollux's torso. He scowled, then closed his eyes with a sigh.

"Fuck it," he said, putting his hands on Sollux's hips and pulling him right back to him. "No, fuck it, we're doing this right now."

Sollux's eyebrows lifted, followed by the edges of his lips in a fairly delighted smirk. "What? Seriously, dude?"

"Yes," he grunted, pulling Sollux down so that he could nip at the base of his neck, sliding his arms around his shoulders. "But if you ever tell anybody about this, I am flaying you."

"Understood," Sollux said bit breathlessly, thanks to the nipping. He tilted back his head as Karkat kissed his neck, undoing the clasp of Karkat's pants and gently slipping his hand down to his bulge, lightly feeling the edges of the protective bone structure beneath the others skin. Karkat's back tensed, his almost silent gasp tickling Sollux's ear with warm breath. He let out a tiny, airy laugh in response, before rubbing the bulge with a bit more energy, feeling down to its base were the nook was nestled. But he didn't quite touch it. Instead, he fingered the border, massaging the sensitive outside with his palm.

Karkat made a low rumbling sound in the back of his throat, beginning to sound frustrated. "Oh my god would you stop that and get to it," he said, his need echoing in his tone. Sollux snorted a bit louder this time.

"Patience, KK, this is delicate work." He could feel Karkat's fingers clenching behind his neck. After running his fingers around the nook in a few more careful, languid circles, he ran one down to the carefully concealed opening, and pushed inside. He suddenly felt Karkat's claws in his hair, clutching with a sudden desperation. He pushed his finger in further, feeling the brush of the tentacles moving inside.

"Nngh fuck you," Karkat said, suppressing a yelp. He made another anxious sound in his throat, mingled with pleasured rumbles. Sollux felt his fangs on his shoulder, biting but not yet with enough force to break skin. It sent a deep shiver of sensation down his spine, but the position seemed a bit awkward. Karkat was almost having to balance on his tip toes to get the angle right. Sollux's free hand fell against the vibrating surface of the ablutionary for a moment.

Something came to mind.

"Look, here - may I?" Sollux asked, using the other hand to grasp Karkat's thigh. The other troll's mind clearly wasn't on words at the moment.

" _Yes,_ " Karkat said. Sollux really doubted he had any idea what he was agreeing too, but that was because Sollux's finger was still in his nook. He smirked a little, then pulled up against Karkat's thigh, guiding the rest of his body with a careful psionic touch. He lifted him up onto the ablutionary so he could sit a bit more on level. That was clearly not what Karkat had been expecting. "Whoa, what-"

"Don't question it. Just. Experience." He began to push in another figure, trying to coax the bulge and nook into opening more fully. Karkat bit down on his shoulder again, with a much better grip this time, making a slightly agonized sound.

"Oh my god _fuuuck yooou,_ " he moaned the moment he managed to detach himself. "I can't believe you've got this goddamn fabric ablutionary rumbling under my ass now. This is fucking ridiculous."

"Shut up, it's exotic."

"A t-taste of local fil-filthy degenerate culture maybe," Karkat stuttered out between little grunts before slapping the back of Sollux's head. "Okay that's enough, get out of there. I haven't even..." He grabbed Sollux by the shoulders who, reliably but teasingly, acquiesced to remove his fingers. "Get up here."

"What?" Sollux asked. Karkat started pulling on him.

"You heard me. Up on the jittering ablutionary."

"Yeah, okay," Sollux snorted, clamoring up on top of the machine while Karkat brought his legs up as well. Sollux ended up laying with his legs straddled over Karkat's hips, their bulges brushing through their pants. Karkat laid there, staring at him for a moment, before shaking his head.

"No, we gotta turn this around," he said and started trying to flip Sollux onto the bottom. Sollux didn't quite resist, though he laughed.

"Why, is the vibrating too much for you?"

Karkat rolled his eyes, as he managed to get Sollux beneath him. "No - that, admittedly, is kind of novel. I need you down there because I am about to pleasure you, and this is far more efficient."

"Is that so-" Sollux started, but was interrupted by Karkat pressing their lips together. He kissed him, gently biting and nipping at his lip, while slowly beginning to grind against his hips, their bulges touching and rubbing. Karkat's pants were beginning to come down, but he didn't seem to care. Instead, he reached down to start fumbling Sollux's pants open while laying a trail of kisses down his neck. Karkat Vantas. All about efficiency.

"Okay," Karkat finally said, pulling away. He was panting. So was Sollux. Their bodies were hot and dusted with sweat, shaking with the rhythmic hum of the two ablutionaries running beneath them. "Okay. You...stay there. I'll be right back." And he slipped away, down to Sollux's legs. Sollux could feel him begin to slide his pants down around around his thighs, Karkat's claws sensually grazing the skin around his hips. He ran his thumbs over the curve of Sollux's bulge, spreading his thighs apart.

Practically radiant with heat, Sollux was dizzy mindedly about to shoot out some kind of retort questioning why he needed to be on the bottom for this when he felt Karkat's tongue run lightly against his nook. His back arched slightly, with a genuinely surprised gasp.

Oh.

Well, when phrased like that, how could he complain?

He shifted his legs, opening up further so that Karkat could continue. Karkat obliged by running his fingers up along the sides of Sollux's torso, his tongue running up the length of his bulge. Sollux could feel the whole thing tightening, the tentacles beginning to move inside and press out against his nook. He rolled his head to the side, making a desire-filled sound beneath his breath.

"What was that?" Karkat asked, slightly mocking, coming up for a second. "I didn't hear you."

"I said shut the fuck up and keep doing that is what I said," he rambled out, tensing as Karkat brushed his fingers along the inside of his thighs again. He could hear Karkat snort.

"Well when you put it like that." He pressed his thumbs into Sollux's gradually opening nook. The yellowblood's whole body twitched with a sudden jolt of pleasure. He moaned, a rumbling purr of ecstasy in his throat as Karkat teased the pressure within.

He was fully flushed in the face, writhing with the pleasure of it, when he finally managed to gasp out: "KK."

"I'm busy," Karkat said, like there was something in his mouth. Only Sollux knew for a fact that there was.

"Screw you. Get back here," he said, smiling despite the way he was trying to sound demanding.

"You sure about that?" Karkat asked, mouth clear this time as he came up for air.

"I need you here," Sollux all but sang, reaching down for him with this hands. Karkat grunted, unable to conceal his mutual desire.

"Yeah. Okay." He appeared moments later, letting their bulges rest against each other again, both stiff with pressure. Sollux wrapped his arms around his back, claws running over his shoulder blades, and kissed him. It was so warm, he was losing his mind.

"Are you ready?" Sollux breathed, grinding their hips. Karkat had been kissing him on the neck, but now he looked down at him in surprise, like he'd suddenly remembered something. There was a flash of fear in his eyes.

"Fuck. Fuck I can't," he said, suddenly. "Not here. Sollux-" He cast a look down at himself, increasingly anxious.

Sollux frowned. It was taking a few seconds, but he was gradually realizing what Karkat meant. It was so easy to forget sometimes. Karkat's blood colour had never mattered to him, but that didn't mean it wouldn't matter to anyone else. And what was inside Karkat's bulge would give that away just as easily as the blood in his veins.

But Sollux could see the need and the beginnings of bitter disappointment and self resentment on Karkat's face. He didn't want them to have to just pack it up and leave. He didn't want Karkat to have to worry about this, or to force himself to miss out on life because of what he saw as a disability.

God, the pity he felt for this troll sometimes was just overwhelming.

Sollux embraced him in a hug, pulling him close, winding his legs around Karkat's ankles. "No," he said. "Look, it's okay. We can do this. Hold on a second." He lifted the two of them up in a glow of red and blue psionics, while Karkat yelped in surprised and clung to his body. Sollux made sure to only hold them up for a couple of moments, carefully depositing them in the abandoned clothing pile that had naturally congregated behind the row of fabric ablutionaries.

(For all those early morning feelings jams people needed to have in the ablution facility, he guessed. Trolls were sometimes a bit instinctively strange about these things.)

But it was softer than the surface of the machines, and it was far more sheltered. Karkat was starting up at him, confused.

"No one will see us from the door here," Sollux explained, giving him a careful smile. "We can stop if you want to. But...if you want to keep going..." He hesitated, then forced himself to continue. "Don't worry about that stuff. I'll protect you."

Karkat frowned, eyes wide and vulnerable like he was trying really hard to think of what to say to that but was coming up empty handed. After a few long moments, though, he gave up on words, and leaned up to kiss Sollux on the mouth.

"Okay," he said, voice quiet and rough, before Sollux felt him let his tentacles come out through his nook. Sollux kissed him back, suddenly hungrier than he ever had been before, and released his as well. He could feel the slick appendages wind their way out of the nook's opening, his bulge opening all the way to facilitate their movement. They were a deep yellow, the same way Karkat's were a too-bright red. They found each other in the middle, twisting and twining around each other, the sensation shooting up through Sollux's bulge like white hot, electric need.

It was never long, past this point. They worked their hips against each other, tentacles tightening and slipping down into each other's nooks. The movements became faster, and more desperate, until a moment where Sollux was sure he was going to break under the pressure - just as Karkat let out a long, airy cry.

And then there was release.

The mind consuming ecstasy faded to a tired, comfortable pleasure, and Sollux dropped down onto Karkat, letting their bodies intertwine. Their tentacles began to relax too, slowly beginning to retreat back into the protective shell of the bone bulge. Karkat had apparently gone nearly comatose with the sensation, panting in exhaustion and only opening his eyes to look up at Sollux with the slightest bit of a smirk.

"You are such an idiot, you know that?" he mumbled, sounding too tired and content to be annoyed.

It was then, still literally attached at the hips by a few remaining tentacles, that they heared the ablution facility's front door finally fly open.

Whoops.

 

If there was one thing that encouraged one's tentacles to get the fuck out of there, it was someone stumbling in on your afterglow completely unannounced. Sollux's retracted fully into his bulge on a moment's notice, though Karkat, from the looks of it, was too stunned and utterly embarrassed to commit to any proactive action. His eyes were wide with shock and horror.

"Oh my god," he breathed, "I'm going to die."

Ears pulling back in a kind paranoid aggression directed at the unseen newcomer, Sollux leaned forward and said very quietly: "Shhh." Karkat opened his mouth again almost instantly, and Sollux gave him an unbelieving look, quickly placing a hand over his mouth. " _Shhh._ I've got this," he mouthed. He reached down to Karkat's pants with one hand and started trying to pull them up, all the while listening very carefully for any sounds the intruder was making.

Foot steps. The sound of them dumping something on the floor. Humming?

"Be right back," Sollux mouthed, and slid off of Karkat so he could pull up his own pants and crawl to the edge of the ablutionary row. He peered around the corner.

There was a green blooded troll with swirly horns standing just down the row from them, preparing to dump her laundry into an open ablutionary. Any movement outward would get them seen for sure. That is, if it wasn't for the fact that she was wearing headphones, tapping her foot along to what appeared to be loud rock music.

"She's got headphones on," Sollux whispered, scrambling back to Karkat's side - who had done his pants up properly by now and was looking around in a slightly crazed manner like he was checking for signs of any compromising residue his body may have left behind, muttering hectic swears under his breath. Sollux threw a shirt from the pile at him. "Put this on," he hissed, "then act like normal. Okay?"

"Right, right, okay, let's-" Karkat was half way through agreeing when Sollux leaned over to kiss him in a burst of excitement.

"For the record, totally worth it," Sollux said, pulling on one of the discarded t-shirts himself as Karkat just stared at him, speechless.

Sollux got the sneaking suspicion they were going to be having words later.

It was the fastest they had ever gotten dressed for anything. They hardly even looked at the shirts they'd selected before stumbling to their feet, grabbing an armful of the clothing that may have been bearing any evidence of Karkat's blood, and clattering over to the edge of the row, and then striding out into the opening like everything was cool.

Or rather, Sollux did that. Karkat ran out there like he was about to be consumed by a orange-stripe fangbeast.

Sollux was kind of hoping that they could get out without any kind of confrontation, but it took all of two seconds for the greenblood to start staring at them, a freshly blown bubble gum bubble popping on her lips.

"Oh uh hey we didn't know anybody else was...uh...here," Sollux babbled, grabbing Karkat's t-shirt and pulling him along. "Kind of a weird time you know hahaha we'll just grab our shit and get out of your hair now bye." He looked back at Karkat, breathing the words "Let's go," just in time to notice what the foreign troll was looking so confused about.

According to Sollux's t-shirt, he was a tealblood. According to Karkat's t-shirt, he was a seadweller.

Wow. How the fuck had that even ended up in there.

"Second thought," Sollux added, as Karkat went nearly catatonic again. "We gotta go."

And then they were out the door, Sollux dragging Karkat behind him, leaving a trail of stolen t-shirts and a very confused greenblood in their wake.


End file.
